Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

My Blog

Blog

« Back to Blog « Older Entry | Newer Entry »

12 "Secrets" to Getting the Custody Arrangement You Want

Posted on May 11, 2015 at 9:23 AM

Twelve “Secrets” to Getting the Custody Arrangement You Want

 

As a child custody attorney in New Mexico, I’ve heard it all. “Dad is always at least 20 minutes late picking up the kids.” Or “My ex won’t let me have any say in what happens to our girls.” Or, “I want 50-50 custody because it’s not fair that she should have the kids all the time.”

If a lawyer tells you that they can solve these problems instantly, run. The truth is, if you want 50-50 custody, or if you have a difficult ex who refuses to cooperate, there are powerful steps you can take to break past the impasse. Here are twekve “secrets” the most lawyers won’t tell you:

1. The Parent-Child Relationship is Paramount! The biggest mistake parents make in child custody cases is that they focus their energy on changing the other parent. You cannot teach a pig to sing. It frustrates you and annoys the pig. Take the focus off the other parent and you. Focus clearly on creating a quality loving relationship with your child.

2. All Arguments to the Court Must Be Focused on What’s in Your Child’s Best Interest. Make sure you express all your arguments for custody as child-focused “concerns” rather than attacks on the other parent. Frame everything not in the negative or what’s wrong with other parent but focus the judge’s attention on why it’s best for your children to spend more time with you or why it’s in their best interests that you be awarded primary custody. This of course will not necessarily apply in cases involving serious abuse and/or neglect.

3.  Document everything! Keep a calendar and extensive notes of not only the case but the daily happenings with your child.

4. Child Custody is a Marathon, not a Sprint. Expecting the Court to fix your ex or side with you on every issue is unrealistic. Likewise expecting a quick Court date or speedy return to Court is likewise unrealistic and sets yourself up for disappointment.

5. Use the Time You Have! Many parents despair because they got a bad result in family court. Their typical knee jerk reaction is to order their lawyer to file yet another Request for Hearing, hoping that this time the judge will rule in their favor. A better strategy is to use the time you have to improve the parent-child relationship. You can do this even with supervised visitation. Remember, your children love you and want your attention and approval.

6.  Learn to Compromise. The reason why you or the other parent is asking the Court to impose itself into your personal family life is because one or both of you cannot learn to compromise. Most of the time it’s best to come to some compromises with the other parent especially out-of-court agreements. This can not only save you thousands of dollars but your sanity as well. Even more importantly when you focus on what’s in your child’s best interests often times you can see past your own ego needs.

7.  Be Prepared to Spend Money. Filing fees are relatively high; so are the costs of a process server and copies. All this and you will likely discover that an attorney is indispensable. Retainers are typically in the thousands of dollars and are basically deposits you pay a lawyer to represent you. Often times you will be ordered to split the costs with your ex for the guardian ad litem or custody evaluator. Bear in mind that every time a judge orders your lawyer to draft a minute order or review with opposing counsel a proposed stipulated order, the meter is running. Every time you ask your attorney to request a hearing and file another motion, fees have to be charged.

8.  Learn the Law. Custody law comes from a variety of sources. Realize that Courts look to state statutes, previous rulings, federal statutes, case law, and of course their own experience and biases. It’s not your job to know and understand all of the law. Nobody really can. However, knowing the basics of the law is very important. Understanding what Courts look at  and what is actually the “rules of game” will make presenting your case easier.

9.  Take Photographs, Use Graphics, Tell a Story. A judge’s life is a boring one. Make the judge’s life more exciting by using photographs to tell your story. A picture is worth a thousand words.

10.  Be Good. Behave. The Eyes of the World are Upon You. It sounds like plain old common sense, but when you’re stressed things happen. Be mindful of what you say in front of your children. Word gets back to judges, custody evaluators, and even law enforcement and it will be exaggerated. Always be careful at home and in public. This is no time to get a D.W.I. or Assault charge. Be careful in terms of how your new boyfriend or girlfriend acts if you have one. You are “unofficially” vicariously liable for how your new girlfriend/boyfriend acts especially in the presence of the kids.

11.  Maintain a cordial professional demeanor when in Court. Do not stare at the other parent (mad dog). Never ever act disrespectful to the judge, the Court officers like the bailiff, the court reporter, or even the other attorney.

12. Retain an experienced child custody attorney. These types of cases are emotionally charged and tricky. In most cases you will benefit a hundred-fold from an attorney experienced in Family Law. Just as important find an attorney who has argued cases in the same Court as your case.

 

 

Categories: child custody

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

190 Comments

Reply first aid course london
10:16 AM on October 1, 2015 
Whoa! It really is great article in this article.... truly really useful regarding reading through.....
Reply John
1:11 PM on January 28, 2016 
Youngster Custody is a Marathon, not a Sprint. Anticipating that the Court should fix your ex or side with you on each issue is doubtful. Moreover expecting a brisk Court date or rapid come back to Court is in like manner impossible and sets yourself up for frustration. Thanks!
Reply Todd Peterson
11:51 PM on February 21, 2016 
Mueller, those are brilliant secrets I mean at all. I just pleased to read and know about those secret which I was seeking forward to know for a long time. Thank you so much.
Reply Stock Premium Tips
7:13 AM on March 4, 2016 
I really appreciate sharing this great. I like the way you tied all the information together.
Reply replique montre
6:44 AM on March 30, 2016 
It sounds like plain old common sense, but when you’re stressed things happen.
Reply Ben Allen
5:05 PM on February 6, 2017 
Thanks for the information on what to keep in mind while hiring a child custody lawyer. I agree that it is important to look into the child custody lawyer's experience because experience can make a huge difference when it comes to the case. I would imagine that hiring a child custody lawyer can be a tough experience and it definitely helps to get help. I will be sure to keep this information in mind.
Reply scott
8:57 PM on September 10, 2017 
I like that you suggested taking pictures to make your story more believable. I have been looking for someone to help with my custody case, because I don't know what works. I'll have to give my lawyer photos of things happening, to make my odds better.
Reply rushmyessay
5:43 PM on January 17, 2018 
Many people want to get custody of their children. They can get some secrets which are helpful for them and they can get custody easily. They need to show full interest regarding their child. They should be responsible for their children.
Reply Kiara Mercer
10:46 AM on March 8, 2018 
Regular job.
Reply quickbooks phone number
4:59 AM on July 19, 2018 
It is very nice and amazing to do enjoy quickbooks technical support and it is very nice and help site without download and signing up.
Reply loemrntdherid1
3:07 AM on August 6, 2018 
I just stumbled upon your informative article and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your very well written posts.
Reply Jaime
11:31 AM on September 7, 2018 
jay R Mueller office is very interesting and informative for me. I am very impress to reading the lay office detail. I really like to it for here. Top supplier of heavy duty tarps in UK
Reply carbonlessformsco
10:42 AM on October 10, 2018 
I really like to read this fantastic post! I read your blog and I think it is very informative for all people.Thanks for your great info.
On Demand Forms are available
Reply Child Custody Law
6:37 AM on January 5, 2019 
Shia court marriage
Online marriage
Reply Iwan Valiant Joesoef
10:58 AM on January 12, 2019 
epadanya bahwa saya juga mengasihi Dia pada khususnya ini ke 16
Jual besi cnp
undangan pernikahan animasi
Harga Plat Bordes Kembang
Pabrik Besi H beam Baja
Pabrik Plat Bordes
harga besi beton psi Ulir Polos
Distributor Besi Beton
Distributor Besi Beton
Jual baja ringan
www.gudangbesibaja.com
undangan pernikahan cantik
Harga Plat Besi Hitam
Distributor Atap Spandek
Distributor Bondek Cor
harga besi beton perwira
Harga Besi Beton
Harga Besi Beton
Jual bondek
harga besi Wf Baja
undangan pernikahan cantik elegan sewa villa bukit danau
Harga Plat Kapal Bki Krakatau Steel
Supplier Atap Spandek
Harga Bondek Cor
harga besi beton PAS
Jual Besi Beton
Jual Besi Beton
Jual Plat kapal besi baja bki krakatau steel
Harga bondek
undangan pernikahan cetak
Harga Jual Besi Siku Baja
Agen Atap Spandek
Jual Bondek Cor
harga besi beton master steel ms
Supplier Besi Beton
Supplier Besi Beton
Jual besi siku
harga wiremesh
undangan pernikahan custom
Harga Besi Unp Baja Profil Kanal
Toko Atap Spandek
Supplier Bondek Cor
harga besi beton ksty
Toko Besi Beton
Toko Besi Beton
Jual pipa besi baja sch 40 sch 80
Harga pipa besi baja sch 40 sch 80
undangan pernikahan bagus
Harga Besi Cnp Profil Baja Gording
Jual Atap Spandek
Toko Bondek Cor
harga besi beton krakatau steel
Agen Besi Beton
Agen Besi Beton
Jual Plat besi
harga besi hollow
undangan pernikahan anime
Harga Besi Hollow
Harga Atap Spandek
Agen Bondek Cor
harga besi beton jcac
Pabrik Besi Beton
Pabrik Besi Beton
Jual besi h beam
harga besi beton Sni Ulir Polos
undangan pernikahan aneh
Harga Wiremesh
Pabrik Atap Spandek
Pabrik Bondek Cor
harga besi beton interworld steel is
Reply Regenerative Medicine Flossmoor
11:10 AM on February 16, 2019 
I found the content very informative! before this, I was aware about the types of stem cells that existed so this was something new to read about.
Reply quasaraddon
12:04 PM on February 25, 2019 
Not all VPNs are made equivalent, be that as it may. There are some out there which keep nitty gritty logs of your exercises, some which contain malignant contents, and some which don't scramble Quasar Addon
Reply bhangrahrasya
10:07 AM on February 27, 2019 
At some point, he saw the princess' cleaning specialist in the market purchasing scented oil for her. Seeing this, he got a thought by which he could meet the princess. He utilized his dark enchantment bhangarh kile ka pura rahasya
Reply Rosalie Lopez
6:43 AM on May 2, 2019 
Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed!
Reply Jill
2:31 AM on May 27, 2019 
Thanks for sharing!! Everyone will surely gain a knowledge from this, carpet shampooing we can also do it in all by ourselves but its not that easy , but for the some sure and good treatment here also the wholesale products to sell from home, btw you can also visit our website https://www.cottoncare.com.sg offering services in affordable prices. Keep it up!! God bless!

Categories

I'm a paragraph. Click once to begin entering your own content. You can change my font, size, line height, color and more by highlighting part of me and selecting the options from the toolbar.

/
Lightbox image